Family Camping at Assateague State Park

Last weekend we took our first beach camping trip as a family. We pitched our tent in the sand with only a grassy dune separating us and the sea. At night the sky lit up with a billion stars like I haven’t seen in a long time, and the wind carried fire smoke on it’s tail. It was very beautiful, a little romantic, and a lot of fun, despite the kids being sick with bad colds and a few things we'd do differently next time.

The last time Andy and I had a real campout we were on a sandy beach in Kauai at the end of the 11-mile Kalalau trail. It wasn’t too long after that we learned I was pregnant with Roscoe, so it's been more than 6 years since we've slept under the stars, and never before with the boys. 

In the spirit of trying new things and getting out into the world with the kids, we picked a long weekend in September for a camping trip on the barrier island of Assateague. (Did you read the story of Misty of Chincoteague as a kid? These are the islands that provide the backdrop for those wild pony stories!) There are two main camping areas to choose from: Assateague State Park and Assateague National Seashore. There are subtle differences between them but we chose the state park because it felt more hospitable with hot showers and flushing toilets. 

It was a 4.5 hour drive for us and as we crossed the bridge to Assateague Island on Friday afternoon, we were greeted by wild ponies gathered along the shoulder of the road nibbling grasses as traffic slowed, and then backed up with spectators. That’s kind of the way it goes there. The ponies are everywhere and despite posted signage—graphic photo posters of reasons why not to touch or get too close (They bite! They kick!)—people cannot resist them. The horses are a huge draw for families, and photographers, and animal lovers alike. We were not disappointed!

Welcome to Assateague! 

We set up camp soon after we arrived and then took to the beach. 

Unpacking

Car camping at the dunes

The ocean is always magnificent, and the kids pranced wild and free until they remembered that hot cocoa was next up on our itinerary. 

Sears Brothers

We warmed milk on our little one-burner stove and added to it a homemade cocoa mix that we'd brought from home. We read bedtime stories, and sang by the fire. Yes, I've been practicing my singing voice, and Roscoe and Merritt are really into it so they’ve taken up learning the songs that I’m learning, which is very sweet and endearing. We've had a lot of fun with it lately and the campfire set a great stage.

The makings of bedtime at the beach

The quadruple marshmallow roaster

Ghost crabs were abundant in the evening! (In Merritt's hand)

Headlamps are a must for camp kids

The kids were asleep by eight, and Andy and I enjoyed the nighttime breezes and a marshmallow or two before we crawled into our makeshift family bed around nine. 

Sunset over Assateague

One of my happiest memories from camping as a kid was waking up to the cold air of morning and then, with few cares in the world, nestling deeper into the warmth of my sleeping bag until breakfast was ready. I'm in charge of the morning routine now and I loved waking up to the sunrise, leaving the kids to snuggle together, and preparing breakfast as Andy worked on building the fire. 

Shortly after breakfast the ponies came through camp. Someone tipped us off about five minutes before they arrived so we walked to the end of our loop and waited for them. A little herd of five ponies walked through each site, sniffing and nibbling and picking through whatever they could find. We quietly trailed them for as long we could without taking our bare feet too far from our own campsite.

Cautious excitement

We didn't know it, but Saturday was National Park Day and we had free admission into the Assateague National Seashore. There were a number of great beaches, and three perfectly short hikes that offered a glimpse of the different eco-systems in the area: Life of the Forest, Marsh, and Dunes trails. Each a half mile long, we had hoped to hike all three but the mosquitoes were swarming and we turned back on the forest and dune trails because we just weren’t up for the itches; I think we're still recovering from the trauma of black fly bites in Maine! Instead we spent the rest of the morning into the afternoon at one of the nearby beaches.

Later, and still in our suits, we stopped in at the Assateague Island Visitor Center to check out the educational displays, while the kids spent most of their time at the touch pool with scallops, clams, mussels, and a horseshoe crab. 

On our way back we dropped Andy off at our site to enjoy a little respite while I took the kids to a playground near our camping loop. Then it was dinner and campfire antics, and early to bed for all of us.

We hope to make camping a bigger part of our life outdoors because it offers such a unique and intimate nature experience, and we can set up camp just about anywhere that we'd like to spend more time or explore. The biggest obstacle is equipping ourselves properly and streamlining the packing process so that we can prepare for our trips without spending hours gathering and re-packing supplies, meal planning, and trying not to forget anything important—and I find that everything feels important when we're camping! Designated storage bins to hold all our gear in one place, plus a printed checklist would be a really helpful start.  

As for equipment, a few key items would have made this trip even better. Good sleep is no less important when on vacation, and sleeping on the sand made for hard nights for us adults. We had lazily improvised a family bed of sleeping bags on the bottom and a down comforter on top, which isn't an arrangement I would choose again. After discussing with a few of my friends who regularly camp with their families I think we'll invest in two queen air mattresses. We'd also love a bug screen to prepare food and eat under, and a bigger stove so we have more versatility at mealtime.

We Love Camp!

If you plan to visit Assateague, here are a few other activities that caught our eye that we didn't make time for:

In addition to kid-friendly hikes, there were quite a number of free ranger guided park programs available like clamming, and crabbing lessons. We didn't have proper footwear so we skipped them, but next time we'll look forward to those. Canoes, kayaks, paddle boards, and bike rentals are also available in the national park. I would also suggest bringing bikes and helmets if you have room because both the State and National Parks are very biker friendly with paved trails throughout.

Do you have any tips to share for family camping newbies like us?

Maine with Kids: A Moose Safari in Greenville

One of my favorite activities from our summer adventures in Maine was a trip to the Highlands for a guided Moose safari.

Lake Moosehead is a huge lake, the biggest in Maine, and spans more than 120 square miles. In the winter it actually freezes over solid and Spring does not officially arrive in Greenville until the Katahdin steamship can safely travel across the lake, at which point the Ice-out date is declared, marking the beginning of the tourist season. Like in Virginia, Maine's winter was particularly harsh and long, and when we visited in early June, this sleepy little town was just waking up.

We stayed at the Chalet Moosehead Lakefront Motel, recommended by our tour guides at Northeast Whitewater Maine Moose Watching Tours, which offered two-bedroom accommodations. We have decided that suites are the way to sleep when away from home, even if that means we stay in the economy tiers—it beats the alternative of post-bedtime crowding in the darkness around a laptop on the floor (as we have survived in the past). Chalet Moosehead was a fine pick. Family owned, and offering beautiful views, easy access to town amenities, a kitchenette, and plenty of space to spread out.

After a relatively quick 3-hour drive from the coast, we checked-in and then set out to explore the property where we found breathtaking views of the lake, and paddleboats that we used to check out the docked floatplanes.

We went into town to grab some groceries at the Indian Hill Trading Post, which has a Hannaford's grocery store on one side and a sporting goods/gift store on the other. I love odds and ends stores like this one and they had two full aisles dedicated to a good assortment of quality kids toys so I grabbed an angry birds card game and a playdoh pack for evening entertainment, some lucky moose socks for the boys, as well as some breakfast and snack essentials to last us through lunchtime the next day.

On our way home we ordered takeout dinner from an inviting little restaurant called the Stress Free Moose Pub and Bar, and then headed back to our room to settle in, eat, and play before bed. The kids and I surprised Andy with a blueberry pie that we had stowed away. It was his birthday and I'm pretty sure we ate the whole thing.

Roscoe and Merritt went to bed well before the sun set around 9:00 and so Andy and I had our room and a lovely view to enjoy before the knowledge of our early morning wake-up call demanded sleep.

We woke up the next day at 4:45am, quickly dressed in layers, and drove a few minutes to the Northeast Whitewater lodge where we were greeted by our tour guide Jessica, and a welcome sign with our name on it. We chose a private half-day tour for flexibility to accommodate the kids' attention spans and moods, with the benefit of a dedicated tour guide to field all the questions I knew the boys would have.

We were only the 5th tour of the season, but our guide was encouraged by the success of previous tours despite Spring's late start, and the subsequent late hatching of the black flies that are the primary force to drive out the moose from the deep woods, where the cows have recently given birth, and nearer to the water's edge where they can more easily be viewed.

We moved the kids' carseats into her Suburban, distributed smoothies to the boys, and set off on a 45-minute drive up into the mountains.

Foggy morning views in the highlands of Maine. Perfect moose weather!

The air temperatures were chilly that morning and heavy fog enveloped the road and the forests leading up to Moose Pond. Our guide drove slowly as we climbed higher, mostly to keep an eye out for moose on our behalf, but also because it is one big moose crossing up there and they can be as tall as 7 feet high and weigh as much as 1500 pounds each—you don't want to hit one! We were all on the lookout when Jessica noticed moose tracks, like deep scuff marks patterned into the dirt, on the shoulder of the road. We were getting closer!

We exited the paved road after a while and drove on a gravel access for another 9 miles. When we reached the lake Jessica encouraged the kids to be quiet and to use inside voices. They sneaked down to the waters edge, but their excitement was hard to contain. I wasn't sure for how long they would be able to stay quiet.

We don't moose safari without our lucky red moose socks. 

We put on life jackets and swatted at swarms of insects that had started to gather around us as Jessica made her first sighting: a young female timbering gracefully along the shoreline, digging up foliage from the lake's bottom. Very cool!  The kids were happy but indifferent as the moose was pretty far away with a silhouette that was hard to distinguish from the surrounding mist.

Looking for moose

I asked Jessica if the swarms of insects were the biting kind. She laughed and said they were not, just black flies that could be very annoying. She left briefly to retrieve a canoe for the five of us, and fortunately we could all fit into one since the kids were able to squeeze into spaces nestled at our feet and beside us.



The lake was fantastically gorgeous. Serene, and peaceful. I love every angle of Maine.

We rowed along, the only visitors on the entire lake save for one fishing boat on a far edge. We paddled into a cove where we spied a young bull, maybe only a year old. We stopped and watched him as he made his way across the waters and into the woodland scrub. The kids were a little restless, requesting the paddles, and putting their hands in the water, and beginning to ask a lot of questions about things unrelated to moose.

Meanwhile, I noticed blood dripping down Andy's neck and pointed it out to Jessica. She said, "Oh, I guess those are the black flies." Then I noticed Roscoe had blood in his ear. Jessica assured us she never gets bit, and I wasn't feeling any bites yet. I kept an eye on the kids, and swatted around their heads just in case. Andy was in front paddling and unable to swat the flies away.





We decided since we were already out in the middle of the lake, to go for it, and check out one more cove before heading back to shore. We didn't find any moose there but on the way back we met a five year old bull up to his neck in the middle of the water. He was swimming through the deeper parts on his way to the other side. We slowed our paddle, and he stopped to watch us for a moment before continuing his morning routine.

Then it was only a few more paddles to the shore where we hauled our boat to dry land.

Jessica offered us homemade brownies, granola bars, and sweet tea to refuel before the drive home.

Our tour guide was patient and great with the kids. It was a very kid friendly tour.

Roscoe found part of a moose antler as a souvenir and back at the lodge they found more accessories to play with.

A small gory note on the black fly: They are tiny and ferocious. They bite with a numbing agent so you don't feel them, and they leave open wounds that bleed and swell up in an alarming way. We all were bit to some extent (except for our guide, naturally), and Andy won with more than fifty bites on his head and neck alone. As it turns out, a lot of black fly bites at once can give a person the Black Fly Flu, and so Andy felt achy and off for the better part of the following two days. The bites itched horribly and took weeks to heal. WEEKS. Thankfully our bodies were almost entirely protected by our clothing, and, had we known, we most definitely would have brought some bug repellant, although I've read conflicting reports about it's effectiveness. The timing of our trip and the hatching of the hungry flies was an unfortunate coincidence and the boys have staunch opinions about the black fly, having declared they would never visit Maine or go on a moose safari again because of them. Really, though. The experience was very special and we got to see another side of Maine that we wouldn't have trekked up north for were it not for the moose, so my vote is that the flies get a pass. If you ever consider a moose safari remember the black flies, wear light clothing, and cover up as much skin as you can. Don't wear perfumes or wash with strongly scented shampoos or soaps, and look into a bug spray you feel comfortable wearing. I might also suggest a reservation later in the Summer after the birds have picked off most of the flies. This site, although from Milwaukee, has interesting facts about the black fly. 

Maine Family Travel: Summering like Mainers

A foggy morning at the tidepools. Popham Beach, Maine.

Still Maine sun-kissed and bursting with the happiest of memories, we have been home now for two weeks. The transition back into Richmond Summer life has been easy and good. Our on-vacation routine is working well here too as we continue to seek out active mornings and lazier afternoons. Our first week home felt like a frenzy of family time—a Sears family dogpile—as we were all so enthusiastic to catch up with Poppa and to find time together. We were overflowing with everything Maine and yet delighted to be home with half of Summer yet to unfold.

Through our region runs the James River; it is at the heart of our life in Richmond and its banks are not only the backdrop for much of our adventuring outdoors, but also a source of entertainment and inspiration for living and pursuing the BoldHeart life as we do. There are several bridges that cross the river and whenever we drive over them I sing out to the boys: "Theeeere's the riverrrr! Isn't it beautiful? We sure do love our city!" Roscoe and Merritt join in with fist pumps, or a woohoo!, or their own observation of the boulder studded waters as they flow Southeast to the Chesapeake Bay. Sometimes the kids begin the conversation even before I remember to, and I'm happy knowing that my little gratitude ritual has integrated into their way of taking notice of what's around them.

When in Maine my eyes were wide open for the details and beauty of the region, from the coast to the city to the highlands. It was that acute level of awareness that it seems only vacation can afford. An intermission, where the responsibilities of regular life and routine scatter out to somewhere else and the romantic unfamiliar newness of what's right in front of you is everything you need to feel contented and alive. I had a strong intention to find that space going into the trip and Maine's magic made it easy.  

Maine was water, water, everywhere. We lived lakeside on a peninsula, and wherever we ventured was bordered or paralleled by more water: inlets, harbors, a river, a stream, or open ocean.

In our first weeks away I remember thinking how our little river back home just paled in comparison to the majestic waterscapes we were being gifted with in Maine. I shouldn't have worried that apathy might set in upon our return home though, because Virginia in Summer is as beautiful, albeit familiar, as anything we encountered up North. It was nice to still be wearing my Maine colored glasses when we crossed the Virginia border and journeyed South through the I-95 corridor to home. When I pay attention, nature's landscape blows me away no matter where it lives.

When Andy left in mid-June, after two dreamy and adventure filled weeks, our family vacation bubble burst and I spent a few reluctant days talking myself down, wondering why had I chosen a 6 week stay? By then I had a really good perspective on Maine, we had seen and explored so much of the state already, and I had been spoiled in having someone to share the feel good highs and the load of parenting responsibilities, while also finding the relative luxury of free time here and there to exercise and write. At the midway point of our trip, three additional weeks felt excessive for a solo parenting stint and my first inclination was to wonder why we were still there at all.

Though three or four weeks would have been sufficient, I'm so glad we stayed as long as we did.

The last three weeks were more relaxed, lazier, like the quintessential Summer away that I had craved. We spent more afternoons pinking up under the sunshine at the lake, and making friends with our neighbors. We had time to host visitors and to share a glimpse of our Maine rapture with those we love when my parents stopped in for a few days on their way to meet friends further up the coast, and another of our friends from home joined us for a long weekend.

Proximity and time also made it possible to rendezvous with Nicole who writes at Adventures in Tullyland. We've been reading eachother's lives for the last 4 years and to finally meet up in person was so nice. The kids and I also reunited with special family friends whom we first met through our birthing class when I was pregnant with Roscoe. Connecting with kindred mama spirits while away from home was really meaningful and I'm glad that we happened to be near to where they were vacationing in neighboring states, and that our stay overlapped with theirs.

Those last twenty-one days allowed us to revisit our favorite spots many times over, which gave us a more intimate knowledge of Maine and a sense of connection to the land that we wouldn't have left with had we stayed only long enough to experience the highlights.  I like to think we got to live like real Mainers. 

Maine Family Travel: realizing all that is good about it

Found Treasures: moose antler, lobster claw, 'gull feather

I have truly been overwhelmed by the beauty of Maine and the ways in which the landscape recalls some of my best childhood memories growing up in Northern California; I have felt at home here since we arrived. To revisit those good memories while making new ones alongside my young boys has been sublime. I revel in the energy I feel every morning to get an early start on the day. I am motivated in a way I haven’t felt in a while to experience everything. Anticipating tomorrow is a small thrill; I can’t wait for the next beach, trail, or landmark to adventure through. For the last three weeks I've just been soaking it all in; at a loss to find adequate words for the fulfillment of the day, and empty to the bones for extra energy in the evening beyond what is required to plan for tomorrow before the cool sun sets and I’m called by the darkness to rest.

Andy left earlier this week after thirteen days with us. His time spent here was the least connected to his work that he’s ever allowed, and it was an affirmation that he made it so. He loves what he does and is challenged like the rest of us to balance his work life and his family life, especially around time off and vacation. While here, he engaged us in the tightest embrace we've felt in a long time. The conversations we had during the first week that I spent here alone with the kids, and then in the two weeks that we shared together, carved yet another deepening of the intimacy in our marriage. It came about unexpectedly and in a way that leaves me smiling to recognize that this is our friendship and our love for each other manifesting. For the wonder I’ve carried about my ability to see through the lifelong commitment of marriage I finally feel a hush settling in, a sense of inner confidence growing quietly in its place. The years we have left together feel only but a comfort and a privilege.

The kids tell me every day how much they love it here, and I suppose there is something about our being alone together in an unfamiliar place that sparks for them an emergence of our family’s identity. I've noted it in the boys when new friends ask where we’re from and they proudly exclaim Richmond, Virginia! Or when they realize that we say tadpole, and they say polliwog. It’s the sudden urge they feel when they are enjoying something in the moment so much they are compelled to stop and call for a Sears Family huddle, or to belt out into Maine’s great blue sky how much they love us or each other. They are beginning to piece together and communicate what makes us special as a unit and I can feel their gratitude and their joy for this experience. It adds a satisfying layer for me to see this all come to fruition.

We are sad that Poppa is gone and truthfully I could have left on Wednesday with Andy and the boys and a very full heart if we had planned it that way. As I often feel when I am parenting solo and to paraphrase a line from the book I’m reading now: I learn in his absence that I can hack it on my own, and that I prefer not to.

I always find satisfaction in my independence when making things happen and keeping things together, and moving the kids through the day and night on my own two feet; but I miss companionship when I’m alone for long and I’d rather experience all this good stuff (and share the challenges too) with him by my side.

Still, Roscoe and Merritt and I have three weeks more to continue to seek out and revisit other and newly favorited parts of Maine. We’ll be slowing down a bit and making an effort to stay closer to home so we can soak up this Maine Summer as it marches forward.

Our vacation so far has been much more than I expected and everything that I hoped for in terms of building connections with each other, experiencing a new part of the world together, and venturing outside of our comfort zones to grow in ourselves and as a family. It has also piqued my interest to travel more of the United States before considering trips abroad. We have a beautiful and magnificent country right here and I haven't seen most of it. The parts I do know that I love I would also like to see again with the kids so I am curious how our vision for travel over the next year or two will take shape in consideration of what we're learning through this first family travel experience.  

Magical Maine

Right now Maine’s rugged landscape is embellished with spring, decorated and gorgeous. The forests here are a mix of pine, oak, maple, birch, and beech trees, and the effect is magic—the quintessential Maine I’ve only known to exist through books or on TV. Scenic roadways trace the water's path and connect a network of small towns that come alive in the summer months like idyllic illustrations of the good and simple life. Stoic boats sit in wait, hoisted high above the ground on stilts for repair; their weary bows find reprieve from the unforgiving sea. Lobster traps are stacked in high rows, four cages deep, with buoys carefully draped on the walls of dilapidated homes. The lighthouses stand tall at their cliff's edge, softened only by the rolling hills that rest behind them. The deep rhythmic boom of waves breaking on bedrock that juts from the coastline in dramatic display is a familiar comfort. Bright skies or fairweather clouds decorate the horizon on any given afternoon. Sea spray drifts and morphs into that delicious salty ocean air.

Water beyond the coast appears still, ruffled only by the cool breezes that make their way inland or when the slow siphon of the tide exposes it's underbelly of black mudflats. On the lake the birds brashly chirp in harmony, and the struck chord of a banjo string is the call of the frog. The waters of the lake are ever-changing, never boring. This morning they were a still pool of green, chartreuse and indigo; a rainbow of muted tones reflecting off the surface, mist rising near the shoreline. I would happily greet the first light of every summer sun in this way.

The air up here is much cooler than down south, still in the 60s and 70s mid-day, and sweater weather in the early morning and evening when we sit in nature’s silence after the kids have gone to sleep. Day and night Maine is brimming with life and beauty. It’s the beginning of high season now—the tourists are pouring in and claiming little bits of the state as their own. As we are too.

Traveling with kids from Virginia to Maine, a few tricks that made it easier

We have been exploring Maine for just over a week now and are feeling right at home. It was my intention to write nightly and post photos in a timely way but without a break in parenting responsibilities it has been a tough routine to create. While I overestimated the energy I would have at the end of every day to do anything at all productive, Andy joined us last Thursday night so I hope to find a groove this week. If you want to follow along in a way that more closely resembles real-time check us out on Instagram @MarblesRolling.

Our little house has an incredible lakefront view that we look forward to morning and night.

The drive up was lush with Spring and all the way through Connecticut the landscape felt pretty much like Virginia does this time of year: leafy, rolling hills in shades of green, blue, and gray where distant mountains appear in layers at the horizon. We saw a spattering of brick and concrete through New Jersey and Pennsylvania but mostly it was winding roads through countryside.

We broke up the drive into two days: an 8.5-hour first leg and a 4-hour second leg, which ended up taking us 14.5 hours total. On our first day of travel we left Richmond at 7:20am and made it to Hartford Connecticut by 4:00pm; we managed only to stop twice along the way: once for gas and the restroom, and again for a side-of-the road potty break (our favorite kind).

The kids were surprisingly cool about all the time spent in the car. It helped that my expectations were low and that I planned ahead in timing (they missed the last day of preschool so we could get an early start) and for ways to keep them well fed and entertained. We have been planning for this trip for more than six months and their personal investment and excitement for all parts of the adventure was evident; everyone was pleasant, and cooperative for the duration. Unheard of.

When we arrived at our hotel in Connecticut we ordered dinner in our room, and the kids' enthusiasm continued as they exclaimed love for the glasses we drank out of it, love for the bedsheets and comforter, love for the view of Hartford from our hotel window. They hugged and kissed each other a lot. After dinner we went for a swim and then fell asleep relatively early.

The second leg of the drive began early the next morning and felt a lot more tedious because we were that much closer to our final destination, and the shorter drive just didn’t require the stamina that the previous day had demanded. As we left Connecticut and moved into Massachusetts the quintessential New England landscape emerged with steeples and rooftops poking up and out of fluffy textured tree cover. We stopped in Massachusetts for gas and to eat breakfast, then piled back in the car eager to cross into New Hampshire and eventually Maine. 

We were in need of escape from the confines of the car, Maple's to the rescue

When our path began to parallel the ocean I knew we were getting close, so I loosened up a bit on taking a direct route and we veered off for another pit stop just passed Portland for a few scoops of Maple's Organics incredible gelato. (It seems that many of our friends are traveling to Maine this summer, so for those of you who are, this is a nice little place to relax for a bit if it's near to where you are staying or on your way to somewhere else.) 

I had a lot of anxiety leading up to this trip, a function of my usual catastrophic thinking mixed with a little fear for embarking alone with the kids on a six week stay in an unfamiliar house and town. As the minutes to arrival counted down on GPS, and as I finally set sights on the sign that marked our street, and then turned off the main road on to a dirt drive my heart lifted a little; and when I parked the car on a little flat spot above the house and caught glimpse over the rooftop and through the trees of sunlight sparkling on the lake I felt awash with relief. This town, this house, this lake, they really do exist! 

A few tricks that I found helpful for traveling long distances with young ones:

• Keep the goodies out of sight until you really need them: I kept all the activities that I packed for the kids up front with me until the circumstances or attitudes warranted a change. We started the drive with only the usual suspects: a snack, their books and magazines (National Geographic Kids, High Five, Ranger Rick Jr.), and their saved Playmobil and Lego catalogs). 
• Bring one of everything, not one for each kid: I found that having only one of each toy/app/activity worked out well because the boys had the opportunity to grow bored and then trade the "old" for the “new.” 
• Maximize nap time: I made a rule that whenever one kid napped the other could use the iPad to watch a movie, which bought me double the quiet time because they each took naps at separate times. Timing the road trip around naptime is probably an obvious help.
• Download a few new apps and games, or movies: Before we left I downloaded a selection of the movies we own from Apple TV and also bought a few new game apps for the iPad (Toca Builders, MineCraft, and Lego Juniors). Minecraft is too advanced for Merritt but Roscoe has taken to it easily.
• Consider giving audiobooks a try too: We love audiobooks for car travel because they keep the kids’ attention while still allowing them to stay engaged in what's happening in the car and out on the road–audiobooks don't seem to engross them in the same way that dvd players do. The kids have really enjoyed The Cat and the Hat and Other Stories, so for this trip I downloaded My Father’s Dragon, which is the perfect storyline for up-and-coming kindergartners, and probably kids of all ages.
• Invest in a few travel style games: 
• Open ended, and fascinating in a tactile sort of way, the kido freeplay magnatab was a huge hit. The pen brings the little magnet balls to the surface and then they use their fingers to push the designs down.
• Another travel must-have was the On-The-Go Colorblast notepad by Melissa and Doug, which held their attention for a long time. I loved stuff like this when I was a kid too.
• Pack a cooler of portable snacks: I brought a small cooler with a big waterbottle of diluted juice and another filled with water; portable yogurts and applesauce; grapes and bananas; cheese; peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; fruit snacks and fruit leathers; and gum for chewing. I also packed two meals for them that served as lunch, but these extra snacks and treats kept everyone happy in between meals, and we had plenty leftover for our second day of travel.
• Throw in a few unexpected surprises: I brought along a package of freeze-dried Neapolitan ice cream (developed for astronauts!). The kids thought it was very interesting and we had the opportunity to talk about why in the world would astronauts need to eat their ice cream freeze-dried and out of a pouch.

If you are a frequent traveler, or infrequent like us, what do you find works best to keep your littles happy while on the road?

Packing for Maine, bidding farewell to Richmond

Wetlands covered in downy seeds

On Thursday morning we leave for Maine!

The task of packing for six weeks away from home is overwhelming me now, but it will get done little by little.

I had every intention to pack light—just the essentials, with a few comfort items thrown in—but after just one day I can already tell that it's going to be tough. I'm working off a list generated over the last four or five weeks, which is helping me stay focused, but yesterday I had to talk myself out of bringing along my knitting project—a blanket that I started two summer's ago that is still unfinished—and my Spanish workbook and dictionary. I fought a strong urge to pack up my cooking and baking tools because I generally find it a little maddening to feel at home in someone else's kitchen. (Though I'm definitely bringing the dry pantry and all my herbs and spices.) Then there are myriad cookbooks I love—it's so hard to choose only a few—and the candle I want to bring, and the hand soap that I've grown fond of ... and the list goes on, but we just don't have room in the car because the BOB Duallie leaves so little space to spare. All the Lego bricks must go with us, our basic clothes and toiletries, all the dress-up clothes, a selection of art supplies, a few games and puzzles and favorite books, electronics and chargers, and blankets and sheets.

Andy will be joining us a week into the trip so he can bring up the things I forget, or think of in hindsight, and equally important he can take surplus back home with him when he leaves. I'm happy to have a little leeway; there's no stress to get this right on the first pack.

As for the 13 hour drive: it's going to be a long one. To liven things up for the kids I've been squirreling away little surprises and small treats to distribute when the "Are we there yets?" and "How much longers?" rise to crescendo. I downloaded the Lego Movie soundtrack and we'll have the iPad and plenty of snacks within reach. I anticipate stopping at least every two hours, unless they can stand more. We're taking the back route to avoid New York traffic and planning to stay overnight at a hotel in CT about eight hours into the trip. I'd like to complete the first leg by dinnertime so we have time to jump into the pool before bed.

Meanwhile, Spring has come to Richmond and I love it. I mean, I really love it. The smell of the river mud, honeysuckle, and bradford pear waft through the places we frequent most. Nature is fluorescent with new growth, bright and cheerful and animated. The sun is enthusiastic but the air is still cool, and the humidity hasn't yet debuted. I'm thrilled to be on the verge of meeting Maine and then, at the same time, I'm disappointed to say goodbye to the city and the river when this is what we've been waiting for all dark and cold, cold winter.

Do you have tips for traveling with kids? Are there stops we shouldn't miss on the drive up?

FAQ: Maine Family Travel

We leave for Maine in three weeks! I've been fielding a lot of questions so I'm sharing an FAQ about our upcoming trip.

How did you pick Maine?

Once we decided to embrace traveling with our kids, we were incredibly inspired by all the possibilities. My heart has been pining for Europe and Greece, but after factoring in the cost of flights, and time zone changes, and our inexperience traveling abroad in general we decided not to embark on international travel right away. For the upcoming year we are staying "local" and focusing on the east coast. While we don't have a lot of experience vacationing as a family outside of the usual summer beach trips and weekend interstate jaunts, we have learned a few things about what works better for us. Andy and I are more relaxed and better able to enjoy the trip when we can keep their eating, sleeping, and playing routines as close to normal as possible. This translates to a need for a similar time zone and access to a full kitchen and living space. We like the idea of staying in one place for a longer period of time so that we can really settle in and get to know a new locality in a more intimate way. We are drawn to the wilderness of the state of Maine and when we found an affordable rental the rest just fell into place.

Where in Maine will you be staying? We are staying lakefront about a mile from the coastline, in the mid-coast region.

Do you have family or friends in Maine? No!  But happily, we do have a few friends who live, or will be vacationing, in neighboring states while we are visiting, so we will look forward to meeting up with them if we can.

Are you renting a house or staying in a hotel? We are renting a small cottage that has one bedroom, and a walk-in closet with twin bunks built-in. We will have a full kitchen but will be without a washer and dryer.

Are you driving or flying?
We are driving. It will take about 11.5 hours each way so we're going to stay the night in a hotel around the halfway point on the way there and back. I'm excited to see the sights as we drive through every state from VA to Maine.

How can Andy take 6 weeks off work? He can't! The Spring and Summer months are the busy season and so he will join us for about ten days that will overlap with father's day and his birthday week in June.

What will Andy do while you guys are away? I think he's planning to work longer hours, sleep a lot more, and start up a new routine at the gym.

Will you have any other visitors? My parents are going to stop in for a long weekend in mid-June, and another set of friends will be joining us for the fourth of July.

What highlights are you looking forward to? Because we are staying for six weeks we can explore everything that Maine has to offer at a pretty leisurely pace. The only excursion that we booked in advance is a moose safari that will give us a chance to venture inland for an overnight trip to the mountains. I've made some notes on the kinds of activities that I want to do as we bump into them, but I hope to maintain a relaxed daily routine that mirrors the one we currently keep and that includes good food, lots of downtime, and an outing in the morning or afternoon. We definitely plan to day trip North to Acadia National Park and South to Portland. Oh, and blueberry picking!

Did I miss anything? Leave a comment!

How We Came to Homeschool Part 2: Saying yes to the BoldHeart Life, saying yes to homeschooling

This is Part 2 in a series about how we came to our decision to homeschool. 

If you haven't already, check out Part 1: Let Me Start at The Beginning

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My favorite fridge magnet from the lovely Colette Paperie

A few weeks ago we received an acceptance letter from the Waldorf School for Roscoe's kindergarten year. I waited until the very last day to respond knowing that it would make our decision final. In my note I shared that we had recently made the unexpected decision to homeschool and that Roscoe would not be enrolling for the 2014-2015 school year. The Director's message back was to the point: “Well, that is a surprise!”

After years of assuming that our kids would attend public school, and then the last two and a half years spent establishing a relationship with the local Waldorf school in anticipation of that kindergarten acceptance letter I wholeheartedly agree, it has been a rather quick and unexpected change of heart. I’m giving myself at least a few months to let it fully sink in.

I rely on my short and long term plans, which umbrella numerous lists and goals. If it's in my head it gets put on paper. The exercise gives me mental clarity and a sense of direction while it also offers some semblance of control. Though I haven't always given myself the freedom to change my mind or to stray from the Plan, my mothering presents a very compelling circumstance. The big and little decisions I make deserve my full attention, particularly the ones that affect my kids, my work, and our family life. Allowing myself flexibility to diverge from even the best laid plan gives me the greatest chance to get it right, to grow with my kids, and to give everyone a voice in how our journey unfolds.

I’ll never say never again. 

Back in December Andy and I shared some wild conversations in the dazzling calm that followed Christmas. By wild I just mean that I doubt our former childless selves would have guessed that their future parent selves would be the kind of people who give birth at home, or bedshare, or breastfeed into the toddler years, or quit their jobs, or change their worldviews, or homeschool, of all things. 

I couldn't have seen it coming, but lying nose to nose in the pitch darkness of winter provokes courage in the same way that difficult or passionate discussions are often made easier by riding in a car while staring out of the window at the streetlamps passing or far off into the distance where the sky meets the road. In the face-close of night, the illusion of infinite space exists to fill it up with what you really mean to say, to be bold with new ideas that come to life and grow big above our heads and then drift late into the sleeping hours. And that moment when I mistook Andy's silence for having fallen asleep? He surprised me with words that rang like truth, affirming my greatest hopes with his enthusiasm and support. 

I came across Lori Pickert's blog about project based homeschooling (PBH) on a whim internet search of homeschool and Reggio-Emilia—an approach I've become familiar with through the boys' preschool. Really I was just exploring the possibilities for after Roscoe's kindergarten year in an effort to look at all of our options. While I had my own misunderstandings about who homeschools, and why they homeschool, and how it looks or how their kids fare, I was immediately struck by the ways in which the PBH approach offered a natural extension of our parenting and really embodied the vision that Andy and I have long shared for our family life. Project Based Homeschooling resonated in ways that for the first time made it possible to see myself and my family as the homeschooling kind.

Homeschooling really took hold of our imaginations when we considered how we could more creatively use our time and money to live our big ideas. At the time we were considering just the kindergarten year, but what if instead of paying $7500 for private school we homeschooled and used that money to begin to travel to all the places we've always wanted to go?

I was soon on the internet reading “Top 10” and “Best Of” family vacations, pinning to my Family Travel Adventures board with wanderlust that suddenly felt surprisingly within reach.   

Admittedly, we are inexperienced travelers, particularly with children and especially internationally. We quickly tapered down our expectations and found equilibrium mapping out several small East Coast trips that we could really get excited about. When I booked a small lakehouse in Maine for 6 weeks this Summer it felt like we were really getting on to the good stuff.

With more discussion about finances, and priorities, and the life that we really craved to live, I committed to the idea of homeschooling with ~68% of my heart.

But I still had so many questions.

Up next, PART 3: Calming Fear and Moving Beyond

What's the BoldHeart life? 

Buoyant

I'm still struggling to shed the weight from Merritt's pregnancy and while I am working on it, I am also working on feeling comfortable in the body I've got for now. This is the last one from the South Carolina series.
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There is freedom in a properly fitted bathing suit and a poolside audience who neither knows me nor gives a shit about appearances, or so I gather from their own presentation. The water at first feels warm, but beneath the surface it’s cloudy cool. I let down my hair—hesitating momentarily, aware that thoughtfully ironed curls will melt straight here. Pulling the elastic from a high ponytail I hold my breath and disappear slowly under the surface. I emerge for air and wipe the water from my eyes now burning from traces of a full face of makeup. I use my hands to rinse away what remains, like I do at the end of every day. There's satisfaction in letting go of all of it. The clothes, the hair, the face. There’s happiness here and I welcome the weight of my hair drenched and heavy on my head, the tips floating freely like flotsam on the surface of the ocean.

Snapshot of a Family On Vacation

I'm taking a creative writing class right now and it has been fun to try to capture the small and meaningful moments that we shared while on vacation. Here is another quickie from South Carolina last month.
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Humidity in the indoor pool is at 100%, the warm air heavy with suspended particles of chlorine that cling to the balls of our eyes. I accept subtle innuendo from him, and the kids frolic without restraint in and out of the water. Their dependence on us to keep them afloat and to know just how far is far enough as they navigate their own comfort in unfamiliar waters fills me with a mix of something like terror and awe.

We gently prompt them to choose the deepest part of the pool to jump into, away from the stairs, and insist that each give the other enough space so as not to leap into a tangled family pile here in the middle where he and I stand vigilant. We offer encouragement, giving them space to jump big, and remain in good spirits despite the turbulent waters that result from their enthusiasm.

Once, I turn away from their little bodies hurtling toward me from the poolside, arms and legs outstretched, in position for perfect belly flops. A peel of water jets into my ear and muffles their squeals of delight. “Are you proud of me? Was that a really big one?!” they need to know.

South Carolina Sunrise in Winter

One of our goals this year is to travel more. Not necessarily to travel far, or for long periods of time, but to take the opportunities we have to leave town and explore new places together. This is a post I wrote from South Carolina last month.
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I pull back the weight of the coarsely textured curtains and we peer out to the ocean. It is wrapped in sheer darkness and adorned at the shoreline with sea foam illuminated by a cool glow that emanates organically from the miles-long string of man made high rises. The waves break gently, lapping at the sand just beyond our hotel balcony. We’re called to beat the sun to the shore, to be the first to discover what the tide has left behind for us. A few treasures lie in wait among the bumpy pebbles and nubby shell fragments, we just know it.